Arlene, Arlene, Arlene...tsk, tsk, tsk. Wadda ho. But I loved her today. Who else would show up, persona non grata, and toast her daughter so eloquently?First she raided the liquor cabinet at Janet's then she asked Adrian if he'd like to have a bite of her...er...I mean she'd like to bite him....no, wait...have a bite with her... then she traded in her virgin Mary for one with more experience...
Arlene tapping on glass then handing spoon to strange man who puts it in his pocket: "A toast to my daughter. You have found salvation with your true love. (Gack!) So what if he had a wife and kid and didn't tell you? (OH YESSSSSSS!!!) And so what if I slept with your second ex-husband on your wedding day? And I would do it again if I had the chance. (I'll bet you would) I saved you from a life of hell with that loser....(Only to have another loser find her on the beach in her wedding gown.)"
And I didn't even make that up! I was dying when she said it. I loved it. I hate Hayley & Mateo soooo much I really am thinking of giving up the show. Specially if the rumors are true. I won't mention them here in case some don't like spoilers. It isn't going to be pretty from what I understand though.
And for those of you who don't know...Arlene got fired because her boss died "in the saddle." The new stable Guy better watch out. Loved Hayley's line about Arlene putting the shag back in the carpet.
AMC got nominated for an emmy for best hairdresser yet Hayley's hair looked like she just got out of the dryer and forgot the fabric softener. Maybe she forgot to use the Static Guard after she pulled that ugly ass top over her head.
Leave it to Monkeyteo to try and convince Adrian to get rid of Arlene.
'Teo: "You know about my mother in law man?"
Adrian: "I've heard the whore stories man."
'Turdo: "Get your Mojo workin' and take her home, okay man?"
Adrian asked him if he was nuts but did it anyway. Arlene suctioned herself to him with all the grace of a Hoover vacuum. I'm sure if she could've ridden him home, she would have. Tina was fit to be tied. Are they dating? Why don't they have a story line? Are we supposed to guess at the relationship or just make our own stories up as we go along? I like the latter...
Keep all of the Dillons and get rid of Hayley and Mateo. Give them their own show. That way, we who have formed the "I Hate Hayteo" club will not be subjected to them and the Hayteo lovers will be able to watch until their tiny little brains explode.
The stable boy showed up at SOS and the turd hands him a card and says come back at another time. Excuse me Munchkinman, but shouldn't you have hung a sign out front if you were having a private party? Enter Edmunster to tell him that he just hired him so he let's him stay. The stable boy said he didn't like to socialize with his bosses. I don't blame him.
Ed: "So have you been putting Scorpio through the paces?"
StableGuy (glancing at Anna...oops...Alex): "I certainly am trying."
Isn't Scorpio supposed to be Edmund's horse? Why is Alex doing all of the riding and training then? I wanna know...
Let's not forget Leo/Nessie/Dave & Erica....
Dave was fresh from his Mimosa shower, provided by Gillian. Leo and Vanasty just had to run over to the table to gloat...then back to their own table where Vanessa did a lot of mumbling about Eric, Eric Kane. My guess is that he is Leo's daddy. Why on earth is she hiding it though? You would think she would just love to rub Erica's new nose into it. And she said to Leo about her boys..."You are my life"...can they inject that line into any more dialog? I think every character on the show has uttered those words a thousand times. And that was just this week.
Dave met up with Leo later at SOS and embarrassed him in front of Becca and Scoot. Now Becca will be on a rescue mission. Then she can write a book, "How I Taught Euro-trash Writin' & 'Rithmatic (and he taught me writhing and rhythm)". She will go on "Live with Regis & Kathie Lee to promote it.
Jake's contract is almost up. He is making Gillian feel like a total loser. Like it's her fault he volunteered to be a sperm donor and nothing else and now he's hooked on a kid that isn't even his. Sheesh!
Jake: "Would you have married me if it weren't for Colby?"
Gillian: "Well, I wanted all of the romantic horsesh*t first."
Jake: "Don't you mean "courtship"?"
Gillian: "Courtship, horsesh*t, what's the difference?"
Jake: "Well you can be free if you want to be."
Gillian: "Bot eye doan wand to bee fwee."
Gillian leaves and enter Ryan...
Jake: "You knew too...?"
Ryan: "I wasn't the last to know. I wasn't the first, heck, I wasn't even the 25th person to know. Someone put up a billboard, but it wasn't me man."
Jake: "I am so glad I'm out of here. I am looking for greener pastures you know."
Jake: "Yep, dairy cattle so I can make my own cheese."
Ryan: "See ya man..."