Dolly's Valley Update

Thursday April 27, 2000

"I'll Be Watching You...."

So is the cottage in Wales the "Blue Willow Inn" or the hunting lodge? Maybe they used the same set for all three of them? It just wasn't "different" enough not to notice we have seen it before. The thing I really hate is that they drag things out long after the audience has figured out the big secret. We know Alex is Anna...get off it already. Why she was brainwashed or hypnotized or whatever they did to her is still anyone's guess. It can't be bad enough to try to kill her, can it? That Guy guy is so dorky looking, I can't believe he could be an agent of some kind, let alone an assassin.

Guy: "I can take them out any time I want to. No one knows I was here."

Edmund: "There are fresh footprints under the window. Someone has been watching us."

Guy: "Doh!"

I mean, do we care? I'm sure there are many people who have never watched General Hospital who have no idea who Anna Devane Scorpio or Duke Lavery are. How can they possibly be interested in this story? I used to watch GH and I don't even care.

Another thing I could care less about is the Rae Cummings wanderings. ABC Raetime....more like channel changing time. My money is on Eve from Port Charles being Rae's long lost daughter. They have that hair thing in common and seemed to have bonded. Of course Rae bonds with everyone. I wish the glue for my acrylic nails bonded like she does to people. Rae is the definitive "close talker." I noticed when Myrtle answered the phone today that she was a few pounds lighter. I think she cut back on the mascara and lipstick.

Let's get Hayley and Mateo out of the way. I'm glad I didn't have dinner yet or else I couldn't write about them. Were they in a hotel room of a person they barely knew? Talk about class. Anyway...they are talking about having another baby...I still haven't recovered from the Max attack of a few months ago. They should be prohibited by law from spawning. I had to fight the urge to hurl during all of their scenes. At least she got that fugly sweater off for a while. And Mateo said "You are my life" again today. I think they have worked that line in almost every day of the show and just about every character has said it. ENOUGH ALREADY!

I think this is the tattoo that Mateo had...

Half of Pine Valley is searching for Stuart. Tad, fresh from his latest henna rinse, went live with a plea to find Stewie. Everyone was surprised to see Adam. I loved it when Marion clobbered him and poor Tad was in the middle.

Tad: "Hold it you two, we don't throw punches or chairs around here."

Marion: "Well, that's about to change...SOCK!"
At least we know Tad won't be making babies any time soon.

It looked like Adam & Liza were sitting on empty 5 gallon water bottles or clear beach balls during Tad's show. Some of the props are really odd.

Scott and Becca were buzzing around looking for Stuart too. They went to the cabin and then the studio.

Scott: "My dad was at the cabin."

Marion: "How do you know?"

Scott: "We didn't actually see him, but we found his wallet and the fire was going."

They didn't see a guy crawling around on the floor of the cabin? They were looking through the windows in the door. It is a one room cabin for crying out loud. Did they think it was a bear?
Looks like they'll be finding shish-ka-bum when they get back and think it's Stuart because of the ring and all.

Shouldn't Esther be afraid that Stuart is injured badly enough that he might die? He has a head wound serious enough to bring on amnesia, what if he had internal injuries too? He took a pretty good flying thud onto the Pennsylvania beach after all. The same beach were we said good-bye to Dimitri. Well, his robe actually. Did he really go into the ocean? Maybe he did and he was rescued by that Donato "The Fisherman" Darymple dude. He is now in Hungary with relatives who don't want him to go back to America. Is it Corvina and Anton?

Corvina: "No Dimitri, you are better off here with us. You are free here. Free of Erica-ism and all it stands for. We can feed you all of the sour cream sauces that you love. She will not do that for you. Stop licking my face, Dimitri and tell me you will stay."

Dimitri: "drool......."

"El Pescadore" is playing the press.

Press: "Fisherman, fisherman! How did you find Dimitri Marick?"

FM: "I was fishing with my cousin...well, I was driving the boat and he baited my hook and threw it in and all of a sudden there was a tug. I told him to reel it in until I saw a naked body thrashing around. I thought it was a mermaid and I was gonna get lucky. But instead it was a man. Then I thought, maybe I would be a hero for rescuing him, so I pushed my cousin out of the boat and saved this man who has become a brother to me. He needs to stay in Hungary where his family loves him."

Press: "what happened to your cousin?"

FM: "He couldn't get me on TV. Who cares?"

Let's go to EuroDisney....!


Monday, April 24, 2000

"Oh Paolo, you are sooo stiff!"

So many choices for the title came to mind, but I could only pick one. Too bad. Our poor sleazy Paolo. He was a better actor and more likable (in a love to hate sort of way) than the recent crowd that has paraded through. I would have loved to see him stay, have Bianca come back as a 17 year old nymphet and have a torrid affair with him. Then when he dumped her like he did Vanessa, she could kill him and go to jail until they need to trot her out for something else. Or just go to prison for life. We never see her anyway. So long Paolo, we hardly knew ye. While we mourn, let's sift through the suspects. I just got caught up so let's go for a spin with the suspects and the other folks in PV...

I am surprised poor Leo didn't go blind when he saw Paolo doing the Vanasty. Yikes! All that gasping and wheezing, she sounds like a train a stop.

The murder revolved around the Teens Against Addiction campaign Erica is running. I can't believe she would have an open bar and champagne flowing like water at an event like that. They were talking about had bad alcohol was and then using it as a prop. Talk about mixed messages.

First the fashions. Everyone looked great. All the woman seemed to more or less have the same purse in different colors. One gripe I have...they must have filmed the party on two different days. I say this because Erica's necklace was reversed from one day to the next. Little inconsistencies like that annoy me.

The suspects were in and out of Paolo's room like it had a revolving door. Palmer looks the guiltiest. It's not Leo because he was caught red handed. We know what that means. Nothing.
It will be the least likely suspect or someone we don't know. Maybe it was Rick?

Loved it when Erica slugged Vanessa. I was waiting for a microphone to come down out of the cieling...

Derek: "Let's get ready to rumblllllllllle!"

"In this corner, fresh off a size 3 hissy fit, the masked diva, Erica "the much married" Kane!"

In the other corner, a newcomer to Pine Valley, but a quick study, Vanessa "the wheezer" Cortlandt!"

I really though Nessie would have done a little more heavy breathing at Paolo's brush-off.

Vanessa: "David, ask Erica about her and the Italian Stallion."

Leo: "Well, you were riding him earlier mother. You're just jealous."

Erica: "And now he's sharing the same stable as Maximillion. He was huge you know."

Palmer: "Yes, he was."

Derek: "Palmer, you were having an affair with Paolo too?"

Palmer: "Well you don't think I can make love to this harpy do you? She sucked my hearing aide out of my ear the last time. Besides, Paolo was prettier."

Derek: "Oh my God. Is there someone here who wasn't paying Paolo for something?"

All: "NO!"

You can vote today for who you think will be arressted for the murder at Go to "Daytime Dilemmas."

Vanessa said the necklace she gave Paolo was 24K gold. Not likely. They don't make jewelry out of 24K gold because it is so soft. You'd think she'd know jewelry.

I still can't believe he didn't notice the champagne was drugged. She dumped the whole bottle of stuff in.

Vanessa: "Here dear, try the new chunky style champagne. Let's have a toast for old time's sake."

Paolo: "And you are an old timer Vanessa."

Vanessa: "Drink it all, darling."

She left her fingerprints all over the room. Oh well, what does it matter? I'm sure the rest of the town has been in and out of the room anyway. Not to mention Derek the dope let everyone trample the crime scene.

What was with Derek telling Leo he didn't need a lawyer? If he was a suspect, he should have been arrested and read his rights. One of those rights is to have a lawyer present during questioning. Why do they make him look so stupid?

I want to know is why Scott and Becca came marching into the dining room at the PV Inn just so Tad could ask them one question and then they left? Unless of course they were going to look under the tables or something. Did they think he was painting murals on the society matrons toenails?

To the other happenings in PV....

Esther found Stuart on the PA beach with a severe head wound. After she smacked him in the head a few times and knocked what memory he had left out of him, he came to enough to go to her trailer. I guess she is going to keep him like she kept Maria's baby. She was going through the pictures...

Esther: "Marion, she looks kind of brassy."

Stuart: "Marion....balloons....soft...cushiony....big b...sigh..."

Esther: "Forget about Marion Stewie. Finders keepers. (SMACK!)"

Stuart: "Who am I?"

Esther: "That's better."

Has Ryan even made one cent yet? I think it's a little early to be quitting WRCW. I felt sorry for Greeny today. Leo too. Bet they get together.

Well, those are my comments for now. One more thing I noticed. The week was Mateo free, like it oughta be!"